[信不信由你] 青少年經歷: 22
我:「點呀肥西影 炒左幾鋪啦喎 想點罰法呀
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肥影:「屌你
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我:「仆街啦你 技不如人就咪撚沙塵
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肥影:「輸埋呢鋪我就真係叫你聲腳哥呀
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我:「咁你用唱歌把聲叫都得啦仆街
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肥影:「洗牌啦仆街
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小莉:「點解阿腳你知阿影點出牌既
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我:「贏埋呢鋪講你知
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小莉:「好呀
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跟住肥西影亦都係兵敗如山倒 認我做大佬
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我:「肥影 點睇呀 你又收撚左皮啦喎
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肥影:「腳哥囉得未呀屌你
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我:「西影你真係好柒 邊有人話親事都出pair 出花出2 A K花先得架屌你
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肥影:「屌你有無搞錯呀 死變態佬係度裝人出乜牌
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我:「仲有今日你運都輸撚埋 見唔見到小莉件jacket係咩色」
小莉:「紅色jacket關咩事
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我:「紅色旺我大殺四方
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肥影:「巴屎閉
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跟住個仆街自己走去燒野食
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真係好撚小器
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我見肚餓都走埋去燒埋一份
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肥影個仆街就話:「燒塊牛扒畀我
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我:「戇撚鳩
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小莉:「阿影我幫你燒啦
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肥影:「你咁就佢做乜 佢真係唔識痾金畀你架
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小莉:「佢燒都唔荒靚啦
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我:「我要紅腸牛扒墨丸貢丸雞翼腸仔龍蝦丸豬扒
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小莉:「得啦麻煩友 等陣啦
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肥影:「燒元寶蠟燭畀佢啦小莉
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我:「我唔獨食
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小莉:「燒晒畀你兩個啦
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肥影:「唔得
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我:「咁邊個燒野食
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肥影:「自己燒啦仆街
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小莉:「咁我轉頭返黎燒啦
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跟住佢兩個就行開左一邊
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我:「屌你老味又要食自己 鎚仔過黎燒啦 肥影想食牛扒呀
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鎚仔:「哦 好呀
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最後佢燒完肥影又未返到就畀我食撚左
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佢兩個果陣去左都幾耐下先返黎
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返到黎我同其他人都食左好撚多 就連麵包班仆街無買到牛油都唔燒照食
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肥影返到黎問:「我既野食呢
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我:「你問下鎚仔有無燒畀你囉
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小莉:「銀色果d咩黎
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阿雞 (無關痛癢既人
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肥影:「咁點解有個菠蘿係度
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我:「有幾個傻西話要整乜鳩菠蘿焗飯
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小莉:「點整呀
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果下肥影想拉住佢果陣都黎唔切
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小莉又係白撚痴 大佬佢放左個菠蘿係度燒緊自然熱到仆街啦
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所以佢果下隻手辣到紅晒
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小莉:「好熱呀
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肥影:「梗係熱啦 想拉住你又黎唔切
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阿雞:「阿腳你去睇下小莉點囉
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我:「戇鳩
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肥影:「屌你老味
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小莉:「無...無野呀
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我:「唉 痛就痛啦屌
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肥影:「咁你仲棟係度做乜鳩呀 仲唔快d去買
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阿雞:「係囉 女朋友整親應該你去啦
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我:「你唔咁講我都諗住去
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小莉:「咪...咪係囉 唔..唔好亂講啦...」
肥影:「成班都無撚用 我去買 柒腳你睇住小莉呀
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最後都係肥影買左
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搞掂完小莉之後都係燒下野食咁
跟住佢地就去玩活動啦
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由於我唔係咁好排球之類既運動 所以我去左睇野同食
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小莉就無去玩 肥影就唔撚想同佢地玩所以無出去
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於是我問佢:「咁你唔想同佢地玩又黎托柒咩屌
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佢:「我想黎燒野食咋嘛 幾時有話同佢地玩
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個仆街真係自我中心到核爆
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果個時間都係我食野多 佢地兩個係咁傾計唔撚悶既咩
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到鎚仔佢地果班人返黎就問肥西影:「點解唔出去玩既
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肥影:「唔撚想同你地玩
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鎚仔:「下 點解既
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我:「肥影戇鳩話淨係想黎燒野食咋嘛 都唔想同你地玩 成班人柒下柒下喎
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小莉:「你唔好咁衰啦
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我:「係事實怕咩講出黎
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肥影:「咁柒腳你又講得岩既
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鎚仔個樣即刻
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睇佢咁樣屌鎚仔其實都係我娛樂之一
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不過鎚仔佢真係好有耐性咁同肥影講:「想燒野食就一齊燒囉 死仔腳肯定食唔少啦 你唔食好蝕底喎」
肥影:「想食咪去燒囉
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鎚仔:「咁你想食就黎燒啦
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我笑到仆街之餘連小莉都笑出聲
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到班人又開始食果陣我當然埋位啦屌你
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個乜鳩焗飯其實幾好食 整果幾個戇鳩仔強調係童子軍果度學返黎
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我果陣見小莉渣支叉好似渣碌鳩咁chok下chok下
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跟住再睇下佢隻手 原來已經起緊水泡
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我:「你起水泡就咪撚燒啦 拎支叉黎啦
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小莉:「唔...唔該」
鎚仔:「阿腳其實你同小莉係咪真係有野
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小莉再次紅過經血咁話:「邊...邊有喎...你地唔..唔好亂講啦」
我:「咁你班仆街燒啦屌
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成班人擾攘左一陣先繼續燒
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燒燒下肥影無啦啦一野打埋黎話:「柒腳你陪我去買支冰紅茶啦
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我:「好撚遠喎
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肥影:「唔遠點會叫你黎呀仆街
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鎚仔一見到呢個樣就話:「一係我陪你去囉
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肥影:「同你唔係好熟費事啦
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我笑到仆街 點解有人講野會咁鳩架
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一路行一路問佢:「其實鎚仔佢爭在未放隻手去燒下黎博你歡心咋喎 咁你都唔受
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佢:「唔鍾意就唔鍾意
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我:「真係傻撚左 你咁性格如果唔係有個樣睇下我諗流浪狗都唔撚望你呀
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佢:「咁又係
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我:「屌你啦
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佢:「咪話冰紅茶囉
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我:「咁買三支啦 反正小莉個仆街應該都鍾意飲 甜到嘔
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佢:「屌你老味如果我整親你應該畀多舊熱既碳我渣下 小莉你就會咁撚好服侍
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我:「你都戇鳩
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佢:「食撚屎啦你
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我:「痴撚線
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行返去果陣我見到個幾靚幾白既....
貝殼
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我就執撚左佢 點知畀肥影見到
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佢:「送畀我
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我:「點解
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佢:「我都想要
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我:「你擘得大我隻手咪畀囉
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佢真係飲奶咁撚大力擘 最後個撚樣竟然一野咬撚左落黎
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我痛到連三支野飲都跌埋
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我:「你戇鳩架咬人
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佢:「咁佢係我既
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見到佢笑到咁開心真係.....
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成日都用呢d死人樣搞到人屈服
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我:「是撚但
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佢:「多謝
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我:「痴撚線
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佢:「關你咩事
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我:「屌你
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佢:「畀人食晒我燒畀你又點話呀柒腳
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我:「一舊咁既爛鳩野就咁開心
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佢:「因為係...」
我:「係
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佢:「係你個仆街欠左我
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我:「屌你行啦
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跟住我就同肥影行返去啦
果次都真係幾好玩 野食又好食 bbq一定要多人先好玩
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同肥影返到去之後見到佢地好似餓狗搶屎咁
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我梗係唔執輸搶埋一份啦屌
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我:「喂 畀你
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小莉
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小莉:「做乜買畀我
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我:「見你整親支野又凍凍地 你渣住應該會好少少
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阿雞:「我都整親
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我:「整親條撚
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肥影:「咁柒腳你都睇住整親喎
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小莉:「唔...唔該...
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阿姦 (都係爾打鹿
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我:「我打算同miss提出轉班 你班仆街真係好撚煩 話無又唔得 都係果句點解你地係都要話我同柒莉有野呢
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小莉:「做咩咁話我
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鎚仔:「話無真係唔信 成日出雙入對
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我:「其實我同肥影都好熟架喎 你地又點解唔話我同肥影有野呢 成班戇鳩鳩
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我果下講完成場靜晒
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直頭成個氣氛係僵到仆街 到中五之後先知自己果陣講錯野
我仲以為係班人幫鎚仔追肥影所以全部人都唔出聲
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我:「做乜唔撚出聲
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小莉:「係...係囉... 阿腳同阿影都...都好好朋友架...
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鎚仔:「唔會啦
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我:「我都覺
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肥影:「食屎啦你
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阿雞:「咁又係 上次阿腳抽阿影水 按道理阿影應該幾撚憎佢」
我:「你班仆街又屈我啦
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果陣我地成班人傾呢個問題傾左好耐
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而家大個睇返就真係講到好白既 唔知點解果陣完全唔知呢
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傾傾下小莉扯左下我衫尾
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我:「乜撚
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小莉:「我開唔到呀 幫我開啦
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我:「下次你幫我買隻珍珠雞上班房
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小莉:「清遠走地雞都得 快d啦
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我:「你真係好戇鳩 畀肥影條柒頭同化左
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肥影:「邊個係柒頭呀柒腳
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我:「你呀
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小莉:「唔該
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我:「肥影果邊仲有無雞翼 整兩隻黎
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肥影:「食屎啦你
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我:「屌你係咪咁煩呀
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小莉:「阿影你個貝殼好靚喎
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我:「我都覺得好靚 原先係我點知畀條仆街搶左
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肥影:「我都覺得幾靚 所以個柒頭一執到我即刻搶左
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小莉:「原...原來係咁...
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鎚仔:「借黎睇下得唔得呀
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肥影:「唔得
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屌你我諗唔會有人仆街得過肥影
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點解會有人咁撚狗咁直接 明知人地係想同佢多d野傾都話唔得 真係好撚柒
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果次再玩多陣就走左
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不過搭車果陣係迫到仆街
我地果陣行返出去搭果下真係多人到仆街
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仲要畀人屌鳩我地唔好撚嘈
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詳細情形真係唔係好記得
不過有一樣野可以同大家講下
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就係搭車果陣我地成班迫撚左係車頭 當然有一部份柒頭係搭其他交通工具啦
但係我同肥影同小莉都係搭巴士 無記錯仲有其他幾個仆街仔女
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可能你地覺得好最終幻想或者好老土 但係又發生左係我身上
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當一架車迫到仆街果陣 基本上你唔駛扶手都企得穩
但係佢一剎車果陣就人浪式收皮
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其實係果陣搭巴士就係幾陰公 雞巴男早幾年出現就好
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膠野唔多講 睇文最撚爽
我企係肥影右手邊 小莉企肥影左手邊
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原先我同其他仆街仔玩緊 好似研究邊個國家勁同傾打機野
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點知司機大佬無啦啦一個剎車 成架車都chok左下
成班無位坐既人人浪式移動 坐係度既人就好撚爽皮咁睇住人仆街
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我因為無野扶住肥影膊頭 小莉直頭撞埋落其他人度
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但係因為咁扯到肥影露左bra帶出黎
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