[信不信由你] 青少年經歷: 10
果晚我記得同盒仔去左廁所 (唔係屌屎忽
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佢問我:「你陣間點呀」
我:「未知呀 睇下你地玩到幾點囉
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佢:「
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我:「你覺得佢地唔岩玩咩
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佢:「屌你 真係有無咁戇鳩呀.... 你阿媽明明正正常常 生個仔出黎成個戇鳩仔咁
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我:「對唔住囉屌 佢兩個講過乜野咁大件事得罪盒哥呀」
佢:「
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我:「我覺得佢兩個似牛頭馬面多d 好撚煩
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佢:「唉 你信我啦 佢兩個真係對你有d野...」
我:「點信你呀大佬 你數下我有乜好先啦 樣又無錢又無成績又無體能又無
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佢:「我鳩知佢兩個貪你有寶咩
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我:「屌你 你去溝下佢地囉 你有特殊性癖好
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佢:「我屌你呀仆街 你快撚d諗下陣間完左點呀 唔通帶佢兩個去打機咩」
我:「其實都好喎
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佢:「不如畀我用尿射下你好無
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我:「用精得唔得
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佢:「哈 你信就信唔信就算撚數 唔好第時煩鳩我又乜又柒咁呀
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我:「屌你點信呀 鎚仔好過我幾萬倍 西影都唔so佢啦」
佢:「人興人之間相處點有得用樣同錢去衡量架腳哥....」
我:「唉 算啦 可能你諗多左 尿就痾撚左好耐啦 再唔走就我同你拍拖都得啦屌
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佢:「哈 你真係好撚搞笑 唔怪得佢兩個會咁 做到咁出你都可以get唔到 搵日真係同你阿媽講下先」
我:「屌你啦唔好同我老母鳩up呀 屌鳩你
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佢:「唉 走啦gay佬」
咁我就同佢出返去啦
佢果陣咁講真係唔撚信 一個都算啦 話兩條女都有野 真係戇鳩鳩
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點知到後來先知係自己戇鳩鳩
就算而家呢個女朋友盒仔都話我開頭get唔到
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gay完之後返k房
小莉:「你同盒仔唔舒服呀 去廁所去咁耐既」
鴨蛋:「你唔知咁多啦 佢兩個關係不嬲撲朔迷離
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肥兔:「由佢兩個識左無耐就係咁 好嘔
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阿影:「屌 唔怪得知啦 原來阿腳你個撚樣係gay
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盒仔:「原來得小莉係正常人
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我:「梗係啦 佢呢班人覺得男人單獨一齊都要屌屎忽 痴撚線
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阿影:「知啦仆街
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小莉即刻面紅又黎料:「幾..幾時有呀 佢..佢..佢成日都罵我架」
阿影:「佢罵你咁我叫乜
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我:「喂阿老友 西影同柒頭影好少咋喎 至多咪叫你做肥影
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盒仔:「咁你又仆街d
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阿影:「屌 個仆街既標準答案係小莉先瘦呀 盒仔你唔係咁撚唔了解佢呀
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我:「唉 肥影你真係... 成撚日係度計
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大家嘈撚左一輪後就好快到倒數啦
10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...新年快樂
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我:「其實有乜撚好數
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阿影:「你就難講d啦仆街
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小莉:「新年快樂
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盒仔:「其實西腳你係咪可以畀少少咁多既情趣呢 成撚日破壞氣氛
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鴨蛋:「個契弟係咁架啦 成撚日都要講賤野先得架 唔講會死
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肥兔:「小莉新年快樂」
講完之後好清楚記得盒仔個撚樣係咁同我打眼色
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我最初唔知佢想點
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直接問佢:「做乜撚野呀 隻眼抽筋定眼尾跳呀」
盒仔:「唉 仆街 係咪新一年都要我屌鳩你先happy呀
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我:「都唔知你做乜鳩
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盒仔:「無撚野啦屌你 食野啦
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小莉:「阿腳新年快樂 不過今次無野送畀你」
阿影:「西腳新年快樂 希望你下年有新年
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我:「屌你老母
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小莉:「你頭先做乜同盒仔罵交既
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我:「佢個撚樣無啦啦屌我咪屌返佢囉
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阿影:「肯定係你個撚樣點極都唔明啦
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跟住既對話唔係好記得啦 只係記得果晚個個都玩得開心
就算肥影畀我屌完之後佢都係笑住走
咁我無記錯唱完無耐大家都各自散啦
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出門口果一下畀佢班撚樣笑到仆街
肥影同小莉都一齊叫:「阿腳/柒頭」
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我:「做乜撚野呀戇鳩鳩 你兩個都幾齊心
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小莉:「阿影你講先啦
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阿影:「唔駛啦 小莉你先
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跟住到盒仔個仆街:「唔好意思我講先 我地去打機呀 阿腳你有機會就黎啦 雖然機會好微
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我:「屌你唔係走呀... 帶埋我
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阿影:「你諗都唔好撚諗呀
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小莉:「係...係呀」
我:「做乜撚野呀屌你
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阿影:「你個柒頭真係戇鳩架.... 我地三個去飲下野得唔得呀 你同佢地打機幾時都有得打啦屌
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小莉:「係囉 成日去機鋪對身體都唔好 食二手煙
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盒仔:「係囉 成日食二手煙真係唔係幾好
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我:「屌你啦 愛滋都殺我唔死呀
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鴨蛋:「算啦走啦 條撚樣由佢自己食自己
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跟住同佢地bye左之後就得返我同佢兩個豬西係度戇鳩鳩啦
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交代返少少先後記先
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我同佢兩個三人行 可能你地會覺得3p/抽水既機會好高 但係我果陣又無喎
佢地亦無係果陣講d咩或者做d咩
純粹飲下野傾下計 所以都無乜野好講啦
無記錯既話新年之後都好似無乜野發生
趕下功課同打下機咁
臨返學前肥影約左我去街 咁見無野做又無機打又就返學所以出左去
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其實咪又撚去tst
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見到佢之後
我:「喂 肥影呢邊呀 望果邊把撚咩」
佢:「屌你咩 有大路唔行行埋晒d死人巷仔
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我:「屌 你係咪行巷仔唔夠位行呀
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佢:「我屌那星 等暖返d我一定減到瘦過小莉」
我:「算鳩數啦 同埋做乜成日要同小莉比
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佢:「鬼叫有個仆街成撚日肥影肥影咁咩」
我:「屌 講下你就當真 瘦過小莉果個唔係人黎啦戇鳩」
有陣時佢真係好撚搞笑 成日係度執著埋d戇鳩野
其實果下我係度諗 佢應該幾鍾意小莉個身形 但係瘦蜢蜢 似芥蘭 有乜好
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反而我鍾意肥影個身形 起碼適中 唔肥唔瘦
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跟住就同佢行撚埋d貴野啦
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行完就去食雪糕 真係白撚痴 凍冰冰食乜鳩雪糕
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我:「屌你 我飲杯熱野得啦 要食你慢慢食」
佢:「你唔係咁掃興呀.... 室內都怕凍 真係無撚用」
我:「真係傻傻地 人地飲乜食乜都管 你無撚野呀....」
佢:「訓練你咋仆街 食少少啦
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屌你又整呢個樣 唉 算啦
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忍住天寒地凍咁食 個臭西仲要係我食果刻一野拍落隻手度 搞到我成個鼻都係雪糕
真係唔屌由自可 一屌就把撚火
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我:「死肥影你痴撚線既咩 個鼻都吸埋d雪糕啦」
佢:「唉 舒服晒 果次唱k你罵我就算啦」
我:「屌 話撚左你仲記住架啦
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佢:「我嬲想喊呀仆街 對小莉又咁好 對我就成日屌老母
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果下佢真係有少少眼濕濕
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我:「唉 算啦 對唔住得未呀 唔好咁多要求
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佢:「頭先整完你無野啦仆街 以後唔准再咁大聲罵我
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我:「知啦知啦 成撚日識發人脾氣
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佢:「鬼叫你咁撚樣對我呀
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我:「屌你咩 成撚日係度我小莉你小莉咁
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肥影即刻
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佢:「盒仔同你講咩野呀」
我:「咪你話鳩我同佢係廁所屌屎忽果次囉仆街
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佢:「唉... 盒仔點解會同你做到朋友」
我:「人夾人咋嘛屌你 我到而家都未斬死你啦豬西」
佢:「咁如果我都話小莉係對你有d野呢」
我:「唔好玩啦屌 大把人追呀佢 佢上次著完便服返學我收到風好撚多仔想識佢 佢是但揀個都好過我啦」
佢:「屌你真係... 不如你個腦換撚做雪糕啦仆街 等我得閒食兩啖」
我:「所以我都覺得你地傻撚左 唔好再講我同小莉有野啦屌 我對佢無感覺」
肥影靜左好耐好耐 我杯熱野都差唔多飲完果陣
佢竟然塊面紅晒咁開口問:「咁對我呢
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我:「對你
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肥影:「你真係蠢到上心口呀仆街 問緊你呀」
我:「無乜野 最初真係覺得你戇鳩 叫小莉寫個手冊又要畀你屌
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肥影:「咪撚廢話 我開到口問你對我有無感覺呀
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我果下真係
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未見過佢會露呢個樣
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但係唔知點解我都係覺得佢係想用唔同途徑玩鳩我
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所以我都要玩返佢一次啦 但係估唔到....
我:「有呀 我有呀
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肥影塊面直情紅過關公咁:「死傻佬 要女仔講到出口先明
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我個內心係:「屌你
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我:「最初真係唔知嘛 你咁靚咁正又大把人追 點會輪撚到我呢d升斗小民呀...」
肥影:「你真係好蠢呀... 我淨係...第一次見你都...」
我:「唉 唔好講呢d
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肥影:「好呀 用同一條羹啦」
我個內心:「你死梗啦仆街 頭先咁整我....」
我:「不如等我餵你啦 反正係我地第一次出黎食雪糕」
肥影佢果下真係眼都合埋 個心係笑撚到我仆街再倒立再仆街
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跟住我又做左畀佢屌足一世既動作 佢而家一講返我即刻跪低含撚都要聽佢話
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我舀起左d雪糕"hi"落佢兩邊面度
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肥影:「你做乜野呀 見唔到我個口開左啦咩
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我:「哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 肥影你個樣真係好撚柒呀 想玩我
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肥影
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肥影:「我屌你老母呀仆街 咁撚認真同你講以為我玩玩玩 痴撚線架 點解呢個世界會有你呢d人架」
我:「屌 玩得過火咪算囉 同你道歉啦 點解咁撚慶 想剪我陰莖
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肥影:「你食屎啦仆街陷家產
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跟住一野走撚左
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我追左佢勁耐先追到 因為唔知佢走左去邊
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果陣既諗法
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我搵左肥影好耐都搵唔到...
見佢好似咁嬲咁 唔通今次真係過撚左火
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應該唔會啦 佢都算幾玩得
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原先諗住坐係度等佢洗下面就會返黎
點知等左陣都係人影都無隻
於是我都係追出去搵佢
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打畀佢無記錯好似打左11次先聽
女仔係咪真係咁撚鍾意發脾氣果陣唔聽人電話
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係唔聽就熄撚左佢唔好等人打到畀你又唔聽啦屌 戇鳩鳩
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肥影:「點呀仆街 打黎又想點呀 我已經畀你整返啦 仲打畀我做乜....
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我:「對唔住囉影姐 估唔到你咁大反應 下次唔敢
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肥影:「唔撚關你事呀 你係有腦既自己諗下啦 搵唔到就算啦
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我果下聽到佢把聲好似喊緊咁 鼻音重之餘又口齒不清 其實都聽唔撚到佢講乜
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畀肥影咁講完我企係度諗左好撚耐
又吹風又乜乜柒柒咁
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但係都諗唔到去邊
跟住我梗係打畀盒仔啦 佢咁撚勁肯定知點解
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我:「喂 盒仔呀 我.. (講晒事發經過)」
盒仔:「你真係痴撚線
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我:「屌 完全無諗過佢會咁嬲 你覺得會去邊度搵到佢呀」
盒仔:「你好心用下個腦啦仆街 你同佢去過邊度呀 大多數都係果堆架啦 唔通係機鋪或者網吧咩屌
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我:「我同佢打過邊爐 係海旁散過步 買過件衫咁樣囉」
盒仔:「咁應該係海旁啦契弟 你唔好撚再整嬲人啦 見到你都炆呀屌 拿拿臨搵佢啦撚樣
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跟住佢cut撚左我線
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我行去海旁 文化中心咪有好多樓梯果d位既
真係見到個柒頭坐左係度 我心諗:「盒仔係咪咁撚醒呀屌
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果下真係內心有疚
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見到佢攬住個膝頭係度喊 真係連我都唔好意思
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但係果刻我行到埋去坐低一粒聲都無出
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因為我怕畀佢罵又或者毆打....
所以根據我經驗係佢嬲果陣唔出聲係最好
佢喊喊下抬高頭望住我:「你做乜撚野過黎呀 快d走呀
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我:「唔好意思 咁行開下等你
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因為果陣我又未拍過拖 鳩知女人叫你走原來係唔好走咩
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所以我真係行開左等佢 仲要凍到仆街係度吹海風 真係屌那星
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我起身走出去果下肥影又講:「你條仆街真係走...
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我:「喂 阿肥影姐 你叫我走就梗係走啦 陣間唔走又話我篤眼篤鼻啦」
肥影:「而家我叫你坐低呀 同我坐低!!!!!!
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我:「拿 你話架 唔好撚轉過頭又叫我走開呀屌
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肥影就唔出聲繼續喊
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我成程都唔敢出聲 陣間一出聲又刺激到佢就仆得街
肥影:「你做乜撚一句野都唔講 平時你唔係好鍾意串我既咩」
我:「費事陣間又激嬲你啦 都唔知你今日做乜鳩
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肥影又耷低頭繼續喊
肥影佢其實幾眼淺 有陣時同佢睇戲睇到d明知好撚假既位佢都會眼濕濕
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我見坐係度好撚凍 我都好似喊緊咁係咁呻鼻涕
於是問佢:「你喊完未呀
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肥影:「未喊完呀 未呀未呀未呀 (呢句我好記得
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我:「咁你繼續喊啦 (呢句我仲記得
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肥影呆左咁望我 我又望住佢
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肥影:「阿腳你係咪白痴架 定你個腦真係唔跟身架 見到人喊可以齋坐係度....」
我:「咁你都話未喊完 陣間叫你唔好喊你又屌鳩我咪仲煩 坐到好凍呀...
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肥影:「你有乜想同我講」
我:「唔好意思呀 估唔到...估唔到你會咁嬲....」
肥影:「淨係得呢d
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我:「係呀... 可能你係女仔啦 就算點玩得都會有發脾氣既一日」
肥影:「你又會識搵黎呢度
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我:「問下盒仔咪知囉 佢話你應該係我同你都去過既地方 唔係打邊爐啦 你岩岩食緊野 咁得返海旁咋嘛」
肥影:「我以為你唔記得添 好彩你都仲有少少腦....」
我:「咁走得未呀 好撚凍呀」
肥影:「咁你對我反唔反感呀 成日罵你
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我:「無乜野既 係畀你頭先嚇親 估你唔到咁撚大反應 洗下面咪無事囉 咁惡做乜鳩
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肥影:「都話唔係雪唔雪糕囉 乜你講極都唔撚明架
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我果下真係畀佢吹撚脹 明明嬲又要扮無野
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我:「唉 得啦得啦 我錯乜都係我錯 我好想走呀 唔該你啦
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肥影:「算啦... 我知第日你會明架.... 我地聽首歌就走好無
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跟住佢就拎左個耳筒出黎一人一邊
我仲記得係佢右邊我左邊
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仲要聽鍊金術
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佢聽聽下挨左落黎 我話:「又點呀 唔係走咩 黐身黐勢做乜
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肥影:「我喊到累呀 畀我挨一陣」
我:「怕撚左你 一陣好啦 好撚凍呀....」
肥影:「嗯...」
老老寶寶
鍊金術呢隻歌我都係第一次聽
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佢以前用呢個黎做鈴聲架 我同佢講:「其實呢隻聲好撚差 用其他啦」
佢:「我鍾意呀你吹咩 你明入面意思先算啦」
我:「屌 中文次撚次都收皮既人叫我理解中文 笑撚大我個口
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佢:「你識條撚咩仆街 食屎啦
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之後先同我講返隻歌有意思
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首歌完左之後肥影直頭好似訓著左咁
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我:「喂 肥影 首歌完撚左啦喎 仲唔起身
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肥影:「你畀我挨多陣啦 好累唔想郁
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我:「屌 累就返屋企訓啦 凍冰冰陣間冷親就麻撚煩」
肥影:「是但啦 我唔想郁呀...」
我:「過多一兩個字好走啦 愈夜愈撚凍」
肥影:「唔... 得啦」
而家大個左成日笑鳩班中學雞係咪無錢開房所以要係公眾地方做呢d野
其實果下班大人都係覺得我同肥影係無錢開房既中學雞
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肥影我估佢其實凍到仆晒街又死都唔肯走
佢直情凍到係咁打乞痴都唔撚走
於是我又做左件蠢撚過肥貓既低能野
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我:「唉 你真係好撚麻煩 拿 cum住佢啦豬西
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肥影
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肥影:「你真係... 明明自己身體差又要咁... 不過件衫好暖 唔該」
我
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我:「屌你竟然同我講唔該 你係咪凍撚到傻左呀
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肥影:「你唔好撚煩啦 攤多陣就走啦」
我:「你係先好講呀屌
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我係撚咁係度打乞痴同流鼻水 真係
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我無記錯好似過多五分鐘 因為我係度睇住錶計時
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肥影無啦啦起身:「柒頭我知你好凍啦 快d走啦
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我:「你真係好撚變態 明明頭先仲喊緊而家又笑返 仲要笑撚到咁....」
肥影:「我鍾意點關你撚事咩
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我:「唉 你終於正常返 細細聲同我講唔該真係嚇撚死我」
肥影:「你真係賤撚到入骨髓 對你溫柔少少都唔得
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我果下已經無聽佢講野 因為係咁呻鼻涕同打乞痴
兩邊鼻翼好似裂開咁撚痛
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