自從知道Evans真係鍾意Daisy,而我又知道Daisy係佢嘅奮鬥目標之後,我一直都同Daisy保持住距離。又或者係連Daisy都同我有同感,佢同我只係一直喺whatsapp溝通,就連喺週末唔洗返工我同佢都無提過話要約出黎。由於喺星期日都無所事事喺屋企,我個妹忍唔住問我:「阿哥其實你搞緊咩架?一時又有咁多女上黎搵你,老中青都齊晒,但平時又見你戇居居坐喺屋企好似無朋友咁,講真我真係好擔心你呀。」「擔心我咩?」「擔心你第日一支公無著落,老左要我啲仔女養埋你呀。」「嘩你已經咁老定自己會有朝一日生兒育女啦?唔畀你條仔玩到你人老珠黃都唔肯娶你,轉過頭走去搵妹妹仔咩。」「你收皮啦人渣,你個妹我畀仔飛你會好開心咩?」「唔好講開唔開心呢啲主觀感覺,但係如果你條死港女畀人飛我覺得算係合理,我只係講出客觀事實姐。」「你收皮啦,你把口咁臭,難怪你星期日要自己坐喺屋企。」「你又何常唔係星期日都要戇居居咁坐喺屋企同過阿哥浪費人生呢。」「咩……咩呀,我男朋友去左同朋友行山咋嘛,我唔同你條毒男,我有男朋友架。」「你又知我無男朋友?」「妖……不過話時話,上過黎幾次果個Miki都唔錯呀,睇你地兩個啲眼神同表情都知你地有路啦。你呀平時望住佢果啲眼神,一睇就知你鍾意人啦。」我聽到我個妹咁講之後有啲驚訝,我從來都唔覺得自己望住Miki果陣有咩異樣,我亦都無諗過佢對住我果陣佢會有咩感覺,我一直先入為主地覺得佢肯同我搞咁多嘢嘅唯一目的都係Evans。唔知點解我個妹提起Miki之後,我就好有衝動想搵下佢,不過我猶豫左一陣打去究竟講咩好。呢一刻,我竟然有啲似情竇初開嘅中學生,唔知用咩藉口打畀心儀對象,而且仲好怕係佢父母聽電話咁。正當我猶豫之際,Taylor打左畀我,佢話:「我唔記得左同你講,原來件鬼婆黎香港係因為想以男家親戚身份黎幫Valarie手籌備婚禮,但而家佢日日都賴死搵我完全無理過單嘢,Valarie日日打黎搵佢佢都唔理。今日佢好似想踩上門攞人,你黎唔黎我度玩下咁呀。」估唔到沉悶嘅星期日突然起左啲新趣味。

 

本身聽聞都係賴死喺老豆老母屋企痴飲痴食嘅Taylor,自從畀阿婆禁室培慾完之後一直無返過自己屋企住。不過佢今時唔同往日,畀幾個富婆包緊嘅佢已經有錢自己租屋,可以自立明戶唔洗算痴人。我上到佢間屋企之後,發現除左瀰漫住一陣古龍水味之外,都尚算整齊。不過同一般男性唔同,佢屋企無乜立雜野,而且亦都無乜影音嘢。喺等待住Valarie上黎嘅期間,Taylor帶住我參觀佢間屋,由於我怕喺會見到啲唔應該見到嘅嘢我堅持唔行入佢間睡房,以相反我就入左佢另一間用黎做衣帽間嘅房。行到入去我以為自己去左botique咁,我真係估唔到一個直男可以有咁多衫褲鞋,Taylor一路攬住個鬼婆,一路好招積同我講:「喺fashion方面我真係有啲心得架,如果你有興趣嘅話我幫你執一執啦,執完之後你跟我搵食都無問題呀。」「唔洗啦兄台,我對做鴨無興趣呀。」「妖,我同你講左好多次啦,我唔係男妓呀,我販賣嘅唔只性愛,我仲賣埋感情架。」「哦,我明啦,你同尋晚你帶黎果兩位小姐一樣,都係演員,不過喺做床上戲果陣特別賣力同投入姐。」個西洋女人由於唔識中文,一臉不解咁望住我地,我嘗試用英文同佢解釋返我頭先講咩:「I said ar, you man is very good at sex ar, he is so good at sex thateven I also willing to pay him for sex ar, do you agree ar.」個鬼婆只係笑笑口咁點頭,呢個時候Taylor個門鈴響起。應該係Valarie殺到上黎,我同Taylor互望左一眼之後,彼此都心領神會,Taylor示意叫個鬼婆留喺間房度,而我同佢走昂首闊步行去開度門。

 

一開門,Valarie隔全道閘向我地咆哮呀:「你地兩個仆街快啲交返佢出黎,如果唔係我報警告你地非法禁錮。」我笑笑口話:「你咪報囉,果陣你對Taylor做果啲就係非法禁錮啦,而家你個西洋女人親戚係自願留喺度,無人迫佢架。」Taylor對住Valarie已經無晒恐懼,取而代之嘅係佢嘅一腔怒火,佢惡狠狠咁對住Valarie話:「你突然出現喺我屋企門口我都未報警啦,你而家上黎話要報警,臭八婆我唔會再怕你架啦。做咩今次唔帶埋你件鬼佬老公同果兩件黑人上黎兇我呀?呀係喎,而家再見到我應該係佢地驚啲喎。我同你講呀臭八婆,而家係你求我可唔可以放人,等你個婚禮搞得成呀。」Valarie雖然好著急,但佢依然唔肯示弱,佢話:「我就唔信你可以收佢收埋一世,但我老公啲親戚喺外國黎晒,你就知死,佢地好猛料架。」Taylor嗤之以鼻咁話:「你收皮啦臭八婆,我一早起清晒佢地啲底啦,喺香港走下啲二手手袋返去啲發展中國家賣就當正自己係FBI頭號通緝犯咁。唔好引我笑啦,你唔好以為我唔知啦,你件鬼佬老公根本就撈唔掂,同果兩個黑人老友個個月都仲要攤大手板問你攞錢,你而家根本就無晒計啦。」Valarie畀Taylor疾到一句聲都出唔到,我喺隔離笑笑口話:「都唔知有啲人會唔會因為個個月要貼錢養仔,喺公司度出古惑落格。唔係啦,我都要同上面啲人報告呢件事啦。嘩,仲學人話要升職喎,畀呢啲人上左位,到時公司渣都無啦。Valarie,我唔係話你呀。你份人咁大公無私,一定唔會做得出非法禁錮呀,協助走私呢啲非法嘢啦。呀唔係喎,你好似兩樣試過喎,嘩唔得啦,為左公司利益,我真係唔可以畀你呢啲人升職呀。」Valarie無計可施,不過佢都係唔肯示弱,佢決定先行撤退。望住粒聲唔出轉身而去嘅Valarie,Taylor一臉得意咁對住佢嘅背影大笑住話:「咁威咪唔好走,繼續同我玩呀嘛,我唔玩謝你唔會收手架。」