我好鍾意玩通靈遊戲,今鑊我瀨咗嘢: 開端
七月十五日 星期六 陰
我返咗嚟,原來真係返到嚟,原來只係過咗三年⋯⋯好混亂,興奮、期待、迷惘、擔心,但明明知道要做啲咩。我行行下道門突然發光,竟然開到,仲去返果道。我好驚,我唔想再擰唔開道廁所門,我係咁震。望到啲刻字果下,我同時睇到聽到好多佢哋兩個相處嘅畫面,所有嘢好似刻咗喺我個腦道。我係我,又同時係佢,所以我一定要寫日記,記低啲嘢之餘,我要記得自己,記得你。
道門開到。我望住塊鏡,唔敢相信眼前果個係自己,我郁都未郁,個樣就開始唔同,所有嘢都精緻咗好多,連身材都變得好好(應該由A變D),我想笑但笑唔出。我摸住自己,感受到心跳果下我好想喊,但唔可以,我要出去。
見到Dylan果下,唔知點解我即刻心跳加速,好多感受,好矛盾。佢好charm,但我好憎佢,但又好鍾意佢,唔想傷害佢。未等我自我介紹,佢已經強加咗果個身份畀我。家寶,你真係好傻⋯⋯但我明白,我哋都一樣咁傻。不過我係咪唔應該同情你呢?佢送我返屋企果陣一直望住我嘅胸,我竟然幾鍾意呢種感覺,點解會咁?
工人姐姐等我門(而我係知嘅),我叫佢去瞓 ,之後周圍睇下,熟習下環境,好似發緊夢。我飲咗杯水,好自然咁吞咗,我以為我會咩都唔習慣,但身體記憶比想像中更神奇。家寶間房差唔多有我屋企咁大,但好亂。其實佢好好,係有時港女咗啲。
床頭有好多合照,我諗家寶真係好鍾意佢,我都好鍾意,好難形容。家寶就好似仲喺呢個身體以某種形式生存緊,或者係掙扎緊,佢依家一定好痛苦。繼承咗呢個身體嘅我,知道佢哋過去所有嘢,我忍唔住攤喺床不斷咁test,睇下我知幾多,仲有啲想寫份paper去講self identity,that would be fun but forget it, no time for it.
你放心,佢哋過得好好,細佬變到好麻甩。但我估唔到佢竟然用我嘅身份繼續生活,我覺得夠架喇。但我真係好掛住佢哋,好想見佢哋,我唔知自己想點但又好知,好亂,我想周圍去但又驚一唔喺佢身邊,佢就會去搵佢。或者我未寫完呢篇嘢,已經會跌返入去。
My dearest Elaine, 唔知你依家喺邊呢?希望你仲睇到呢篇日記。
Good night,sweet dream.
̶S̶e̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶?
See you.
家寶